2 0 0 9
The planet on which we live; the world.
There is so much to love about Terra.
It is green and it is blue and it is your home.
Until it's not.
The systems are failing, blaring in your ears but you are dizzy, everything is blurry. You scramble, but your movements are jerky. What buttons should you be pressing? Should you be praying? You search your fleeting mind for a pray, for anything. There is nothing. It is gone, mush about your booted feet and you are still trying, fumbling. You're better than this. You thought-
The impact jars your bones, slamming into your core and you jerk, the hatch whining as it tears open. Everything flickers then goes out, snuffed like a candle. For that moment, in that floating darkness you are nothing. You too are blown out, a puff of air that extinguished you. You are darkness and you are nothing and there is peace in the briefest of moments before another sort of peace breaks through.
She is light and she is your savior. The pull of her dispelled the water from your lungs and you can breathe again. Though maybe you can't because she is there and she is beauty and you are yet again breathless. She hangs to your every word and you memorize the curve of her smile and the awe in her eyes as time passes. You tell her about Terra and her innocence is bliss.
2 0 1 2
The action or fact of dying or being killed;
the end of the life of a person or organism.
There is not much to love about Vers.
It is not green and it is not blue but it is your home.
Until it's not.
Research, research, research. Your father was never much of a family man, spending more time with his nose deep in papers rather than at the dinner table. Though there is still the emptiness when he is gone. But there is more pain in the looks of those on Vers. You are no longer useful, if you ever were. You are a nuisance, no matter how loyal you are, how low you bow, or the lengths you are willing to go for your Princess Asseylum. It is she who offers you comfort after the funeral and she is a welcome distraction amid the contempt. You hang onto her friendship and it gets you through.
Until it doesn't, until Cruhteo spends more time away from Mars and in the desolate metal halls of the castle. Your ears ring and your body suffers, bruises peppering your pale skin like permanent paint. You dream about her and you dream about Earth and you dream about your late father, who threw his life away from information that was never his to begin with. And you cry into your grimy clothes and hold tight to the little locket in your fist. It is all you have in these hours, only that and the paper thin memories, soon to become echoes.
And then nothing at all.
2 0 1 4
a state of armed conflict between different nations
or states or different groups within a nation or state.
What was meant to be peace,
turned to war and there was nothing to stop it.
Your Princess Asseylum, with her dreams of Terra and the vast blue skies and the waters of the same color, wished for peace and it was she that went down to head them. Her beautiful soul and her smiling eyes, you were sure the people of Terra, would not be immune to her. How could they when someone so pure, so innocent, wished to make peace with them? You hoped for peace, though perhaps you were naive to think that they all wished that. Or maybe you were blinded by your own loyalty. But they were her knights, you had never thought they would turn on their princess.
It all goes wrong. Explosions split the sky open and shake the blue world and you swear you can feel them from Vers, cracking you to your core. You remember her name on sick repeat in your head. Dead. Dead. Dead. How can your princess be dead? She can't be. Your one salvation in the anger and the glares. Your one friend in the sea of stars. But everyone says, Princess Asseylum is dead. You can't believe it.
You have to be sure. Your loyalty and your disbelief propels you forward. You can't just believe a rumor and you can't believe that the others don't question a thing. Who can you trust? The realization that there is no one you can trust comes hard and fast and you make your mind up. You will find your answers on Terra. You can't take a moment to question your thoughts for if you do, you'll break and if you break there's no going back.
You are ordered to pilot the fighter that will deliver Sir Trillram and his Nilokeras to the Terrans. And in the midst of battle, you see her. Your princess and you have your truth. She is alive. And you learn from Trillram, irritated from the smoldering remains of his Nilokeras that he was behind the assassination attempt on Asseylum.
You shoot him. You kill him without a second thought and you're stranded with the smoking gun in your hand. What have you done?
But you still need answers. Is she okay? How is she alive? You can help her and she can stop this war. Your only lead? An orange Sleipnier. You steal a carrier from Cruhteo's castle and you fly to Tanegashima, where it had been sighted. When you get there you arrive just in time to stop Hellas from destroying Orange and his ship. With your combined efforts, you and Orange defeat Hellas but your short time ally shoots the wing of your carrier and you go down, down, down fueled with distrust for a man who hadn't needed to be your enemy.
You wake back in Count Cruhteo's castle and you wake in agony. Suspended from the ceiling with metal shackles about your wrists and your shirt removed to allow for the count's torture. Each shock sends rockets of pain shooting through your nerves and you scream, sweat beading down your forehead. Still you do not speak. You do not tell that she is alive. You are her loyal servant and her secret is yours to bear. No matter how much pain it causes. But your refusals to answer just drive a stake of anger through Cruhteo's heart and the pain increased. But still you held fast to your silence. You are loyal and you cannot trust anyone for fear of dooming your princess. At long last, however, bruises and welts weeping blood across your bare chest, you ask if he is loyal. And you tell him she is alive before the darkness sweeps in and you are gone.
You wake in a bed in Count Saazbaum's castle, and you don't understand. Where is Cruhteo, why has Saazbaum helped you and bandaged your wounds? You get your answers soon enough. It was him all along, it was Saazbaum behind the assassination attempt on Asseylum's life but he's saved you because your father saved him. He owed a debt and he repaid it when he saved you. So you are now in his debt and when he gives you a choice, flee to Earth or join in the conflict against the Terrans, who join his side.
And he shoots your Princess Asseylum in the back. Though it feels like the bullet entered your own body. You remember seeing her for the first time in person, you remember exiting your Tharsis to go to her, to make sure she is well. You remember the smile on your face at the flash of her blonde hair, though her eyes are on Orange, your enemy, your match. You make your way closer and then you hear it, the echo in the chamber, the bang and you see her go down, the thud of her body a knife through your chest. Your gun is out within moments, trained on Saazbaum and you shoot, you nearly empty the clip into him, tears streaming down your face and you heart is breaking, breaking, breaking.
You shoot Orange in the head, the nickname 'Bat' hovering on his lips moments before he too pulls a gun on you. You shoot first, no one will harm your princess again. Though you collapse beside her, your head falling to her shoulder, your arms weakly moving around her, her name a broken record on your tongue, followed by one word.
2 0 1 6
Freedom from disturbance;
quiet and tranquility.
All your choices have led you here.
Why isn't life done with you yet?
Why can't you just die?
Count Slaine Saazbaum Troyard. Saazbaum gives you his name. He adopts you as his own to save you from the contempt of the other knights. Who would dare question you if you had his name? Though a part of you does not want it for you still weep in your secret hours away and before where your princess is kept, floating and comatose, blonde hair billowing out behind her. You have fallen to your knees before her too many times for you to count, your tears silent on your face. It is the only time you truly let yourself be you, in those stolen moments. But she does not hear your desires, your need for her to open her eyes and be there with you again.
You rise higher. From Sir to Count to heir apparent. You, an Earth born boy somehow became the heir apparent to the Vers empire, with Princess Lemrina at your side. She is not the Princess you love, but love is far from your mind. A part of you died the night your true Princess was shot, sealed away within the corners of your mind, only to come out in those moments pleading her to return to you. You have never felt so lost.
A part rises higher than your names however when you finally have your revenge, when your storm of bullets hit into Saazbaum's Dioscuria, killing him. Did he really think that you could swear fealty to him? The man that had plotted against your Princess Asseylum and shot her in the back that night?
With his death you become an Orbital Knight.
And it all spirals down. Your Tharsis can see the future, but only the immediate future. You tell Princess Lemrina, the poor Princess Lemrina, that you didn't see what truly mattered. Your true Princess has awoken and she knows what you've done and no words have cut you deeper than her accusation that you have changed, that you are not the same Slaine she knew as a child. And you are finished. You wish for a release, you have never wished so hard for a release. Only death can set free someone like you, not a Terren and not a Martian.
You tell your men to evacuate the moon base and you apologize to Lemrina, wishing her good health. You watch them fly from the base and then, no. Sir Harklight, your own man turns and rejoins the fight and you attempt to remind them that they are going against your orders, but their sacrifice brings you back and you too enter the fight and you go straight for you nemesis, Orange, Inaho Kaizuka. You have always hated the color orange.
He asks you to surrender. You will, but not to him. Not now.
The fall towards Earth is impossible, you cannot both survive, but somehow you do. Somehow Inaho helps and you crash into the sea. You pull yourself to shore, spitting out the sand stuck to your lips. And Inaho is there, his gun at your face and his face unreadable. Finally, you allow and you smile at him and press a finger right to your forehead. Right here, you remind him, that smile still in place.
He takes you to a prison and that is where he tells you why he did not kill you, why he cannot kill you no matter how much you wish it of him. Princess Asseylum asked me to save you, he says to you and that is all there is, swirling about your head. You cry. You break. You shatter. Your broken pieces fractured all over the chess board. Oh, your Highness, you whisper to yourself, clutching to the blue jumpsuit and feeling the warm metal of the necklace you gave to her against your chest.
Kaizuka's confession brings you a different sort of peace. It is a little easier to smile.