Maybe she would have seen the smile if she hadn’t been so afraid of seeing something else in his gaze, of seeing disappointment, disgust, a frown, anything that expressed his displeasure with her. It could be that she was overthinking, or she was right. The scenarios that filtered through her mind were plenty, because she had always had such an overactive imagination. Like the time she had convinced herself of the possibility of going to jail over taking his cellphone to erase her horrible voicemail — a possibility but, you didn’t go to jail at that age for petty theft.
At least she didn’t turn a bright shade of red at that particular memory. She took a deep breath, carefully forking another piece of her sandwich as she tried to convince herself to lift her gaze, to meet his for more than a few seconds before darting away. She could do this. Alya’s voice was a cheer in her head, reminding her that she could. She absolutely could.
Blue eyes lifted at his words and a soft huff of laughter slipped from her lips. ”I’m actually a downer. Alya usually hears how negative I can be… My imagination sometimes goes to the worst possible scenarios if I’m focused on something bad.” Like Lila. She had convinced herself that he would fall for her entirely, start dating her and she would never get the chance to sit with him like that. Though, it wasn’t the worst of her tangents, at least. ”It’s.. This is really difficult and you didn’t need to see my view. You had a really hard time and I… Was a coward.” It was harder maintaining the eye contact once she made it, but the determination in his gaze kept blue eyes locked with green.
Her heart seemed to skip a beat, or two, maybe three because of the way he was looking at her. ”You’re right. People always need help. When his gaze faltered, hers dropped away towards Tikki who gave an encouraging smile. [b]”I guess… I didn’t think I could help. I was afraid. And alone. It isn’t the first time I ran though, Chat. When we first started, with Stoneheart… I tried to give away my Miraculous. But when I saw Alya trapped by that car and you were caught by one of the Stoneheart copies, I put them on again. And you helped me feel like I could do this even though I had messed up.”
A smile touched upon her lips, blue eye eyes sought green again, a little more hopeful this time. A little more brave, a little less afraid of speaking to the boy in front of her. The boy who was imperfect, like her, who she loved even though she probably didn’t know him that well. The boy who was her partner, who wanted to fix things. ”I messed up again. But I want to fix it.”
ADRIEN AGRESTE // <3 i think this is going well