You are the first born and only child of Neo-Queen Serenity and King Endymion. You born for greatness, with the expectation of the world upon her shoulders, the expectation of the world upon your shoulders. Responsibility is yours before you even learn to speak, or take your first steps because you are the future queen. Of course your mother and father adore you; you are their pride and joy. But, the world expects so much from you already.
You are given the namesake of your mother. You are called Usagi, just like her, you are the rabbit of the moon. Affectionately, your mother calls you “Small Lady” and the nickname sticks for all. The weight of the nickname is never spoken, but always lingering. You are expected to be a lady. Though suddenly, at the age of six, you stop growing. No one knows why, nor do they question why because you are the first Lunarian to be born on Earth so no one knows what to expect. Later, you reflect and you wonder if it were your own insecurities in your abilities that caused the halt. Because you were afraid you wouldn’t be able to meet expectations even when you were so young and nothing was needed of you — yet.
You remain unchanged for 900 years, never growing aside from your own doubts and worries. It grew and it festered, somewhere deep in your heart and the back of your mind. You had no friends of your own age, because you were too different from them. They would grow, but you did not, and eventually you were left behind. And you’re a princess, on top of that. You, somehow, manage to make a friend of Sailor Pluto. She is the only one to tell you how much like your mother you are (aside from Papa). She has hopes for you, but they don’t seem to weigh on you like everyone else’s. She is a kind woman and you think that she only ever smiles for you, because you never see anyone with her. She teaches out magic tricks to use with your Luna P, who is a constant companion when you have no others.
You fall subject the cruel words of other children. They question, taunt, and tease you because of how small you are, because you don’t have a crescent upon your forehead like your mother does. They asked if you’re even the queen’s child, because surely you must be adopted. They asked if your mother even loved you — and you doubted that as well, because she only seemed to love your father. They said they’d only believe you if they saw the Silver Crystal. Your insecurities were fueled to burn hotter, to the point where you crumbled.
You stole the crystal to prove a point. To prove that you were your mother’s daughter, but before you could flee, your mother came looking. You hid behind the pedestal in which the crystal had once sat, clutching it to your chest. You never expected that you’d be attacked, not that day or that moment. Not the one time you had given into the voices inside your head that made you think you were not good enough. When you left the palace after your mother, everything was changed. Your mother engulfed in the crystal, death was everywhere, the senshi were all taken down.
In hindsight, you recall that this decision was the one that would change your life forever. Though it was the wrong stand to take, it is what made you change and begin to grow as a person. It started a fire inside you, a small and delicate flame, that would one day start a blaze (or, would have). It allowed you to meeet the legendary Sailor Moon that your parents had oft told you stories of. Perhaps to inspire you to grow to be much like her. But, their stories left out how much like you she was. She was clumsy, cried a lot, was terrible at school. It made her more relatable, someone to look up to… Though you never let her know that to her face as you stayed with her. You were a child, though 900 years old, you still acted like you were the age you looked. You were a brat, selfish, demanding at times… A liar, because you refused to tell anyone the truth of why you were there. You butted heads with her because you wanted the attention of your eventual father, as much as she wanted it too. And, perhaps you were scared to let anyone get close because they would not think you were a good child after learning the truth.
But, you did come to trust Sailor Moon’s abilities. Because she had proven time, and time again, that she was stronger than the enemies she faced — even when she lashed out at you, and blamed you in the beginning. Even though she was suspicious, and terrified because she lost her friends. She never gave up, she always tried her best when you probably would have given up. She is everything like the stories, legendary, and never giving up even when it was so hard. You grew envious of the fact that your father loved her so dearly, the fact that everyone loved her so much and no one seemed to love you. (You know, now, that was far from the truth but you were young and selfish).
It was those thoughts that pushed you into the grips of darkness. You remember the exact moment you allowed yourself to become lost, to fall further from everyone. It was not Sailor Pluto’s fault, but your own, for misunderstanding. You saw her smile at your father, when you thought she would only smile for you — when you wanted her to smile for only you. The darkness gripped you then, and offered you everything you had ever wanted.
Perhaps you should have known that darkness only begets more darkness, more chaos, more evil. But, you know your mind was too far twisted and gone. You were Black Lady, and refused to be associated with anything that was light. You were beyond yourself and reflecting on it is like a nightmare that you are thankful you can wake from, now. You were someone who was wicked, twisted inside. You pummeled your home planet with a dark crystal your enemy had used to wipe out the city before. The second one, the one you impaled, was enough to cause the Earth to die and make it unstable. You were truly beyond reason when you impaled the third one, intending to force Sailor Moon to give you her Silver Crystal.
Of course, she did not crumble so easily but you were able to steal it from her anyway. But, you, too had the crystal stolen from you. You never remember the following moments clearly, but you will always remember the fact that Sailor Pluto laid dying in Sailor Moon’s arms. The fact that the tear you shed held the crystal inside, that you were transformed in the next moment. But Pluto was dead, she never opened her eyes to see that you had finally awakened. You were stricken with grief immeasurable because you knew that this was all your fault. This was never what you had wanted.
But, some good came from this. Your mother awakened from her slumber, embraced you in her arms, and told you how much she loved you. And you told her how sorry you were, how you never thought she loved you. You confessed the things that had eaten away at you, and she quelled those fears. Before she had you help her past self with defeating the evil that plagued you all. It was your first fight, and you were scared. But your mother was brave, and brilliant. She guided you through your first steps as a senshi.
And that adventure comes to an end. You’ve help save their future, and your present. And it’s time to say your goodbyes. You constantly remember that feeling of desire, the longing to stay and know your mother more. Because you’ll miss her, you’ll miss how you bump heads and argue, the feeling of having someone like an older sister because you will have no siblings at all. And, because you love her so much… It hurts to say that goodbye.
Only your mother writes you a note and sends you promptly back to the past.
As you fell back into routine — Usagi waking up late, while you’re early enough to have breakfast — you wonder what training would really entail. Though your mother ensured you that there would be more to learn, as long as you kept your eyes open and focused on your training, you would grow. If there had been no upcoming danger, surely, she would not have sent you back to train. You never considered that possibility during that time.
It could be considered a blessing to be so innocent, so unaware of what could be. Though, it opens the door for you to make friends with Hotaru - originally an ailing girl you felt drawn to, who turned out to also be Sailor Saturn. Your desire to know her, the longing to be friends and the pulling of fate that you could not deny all played a part in your growth. And the loss of your soul. You died because of your ignorance and bliss. Because you desired to protect your friend from her fate.
Death wasn’t something you could recall, though. Instead, you only remembered the warmth and the familiarity of the embrace that surrounded you.
Your mama was right to send you back, in hindsight. Because you helped Sailor Moon grow stronger alongside all her friends. You helped make the holy grail that would allow her to become Super Sailor Moon. You also gained your own Moon Rod, your first attack, and became Super Sailor Chibimoon. AT the end of it all, you felt like you were successful in your training. Because you had the foundations of being a senshi.
So, that chapter of your life comes to an end. And again, it was time to return home. Your training could be considered complete, so you wrote a letter explaining that you’d be going home.
Nothing goes as you plan, you’ve started to realize. Either you’re too distracted to really put them into fruition because you have other desires that come first, or something intervenes and prevents them from happening. In this case, it’s a mixture of the two. The park was too crowded to travel because of the solar eclipse, and so it was decided that you’d kill some time until the park emptied out. But too much time had passed, and it became too late too travel. So, you stayed another night.
You remember that dream with Helios, a pegasus who came to your dreams and flew you through the city in a dreamscape. It felt like a wonderful dream, even to this day, you could still remember that happy feeling. But it wasn’t truly a dream, because he gifted you with a little bell and it was at your side when you woke. You decided to leave on your own that morning, because goodbyes were too hard. It had been hard enough the first time, saying goodbye to your mama. And, you didn’t really want to go. You wanted to stay longer because you didn’t think that you were really an elegant, solider like your mother had asked of you before you returned home. But what more could you learn?
Many things, apparently. Your worth, your importance, and what your future would hold. Though, they were not easy lessons to learn because your youth came into play again with your insecurities that no one needed you or wanted you. Usagi needed you, Mamoru needed you and they loved you though you thought you had no place — you were shown otherwise by Helios. Sailor Moon and Tuxedo Mask had been out of commission, although brief, you realized that you could take the lead at times when needed — that was important and your importance. You learned that you would have companions of your own, just like your mother had hers — Hotaru had saved their crystals after they had been sealed away by Nehelenia
You grew a lot from this encounter — you gained a new weapon along with Sailor Moon, your own crystal became the Pink Moon Crystal — no longer the Silver Crystal because this was yours. You witnessed what seemed like the coronation ceremony of your parents as Mamoru found his own Golden Crystal. It could be said that with this encounter, your training was done. You had grown into your own senshi.
You were not as reluctant this time to leave, though you were sad to leave Hotaru behind now that you had finally reunited (and you were the same age, going to school together!). But, you could not stay in a time where you did not belong forever. You understood this now and bid your friends farewell.
Your return home was celebrated with a party in your honor, an introduction to you as a princess who had grown into her abilities and had awoken as a senshi. But things didn’t feel right, as the weather never stayed consistent. It became troubling enough to where you had decided to investigate with Pluto, because you worried for Sailor Moon and everyone now that you were no longer there. And when you went to ask, you overheard that the future was in danger, due to the events of the past. You asked your mother to send you back and she refused.
Now, you know that she was only concerned for your safety though she did not explicitly state it. The fact that she wanted to send you to one of the remote palaces on the moon for training, though, was a clear indication when you looked back on the event. Because things did not get better. You remember the sharp pain that had torn through you vividly, the feeling that something terrible had happened. And you confronted your mother about it, you remember her reluctance to speak. Maybe she feared that you would, again, try to go back. But there had been no hiding the fact that Diana, your partner, went back to the past. Or the fact that her parent’s bodies had begun to fade away. Alongside them were the senshi, all fading away… And your father was among them.
You remember, faintly, that you had not seen him for days along with anyone else. It had been strange, but it wasn’t unusual enough to cause you to worry over him. You decided that you would return at that point, that no matter what your mother said that you would need to go back. She protested, of course, because she loved you dearly and wanted to keep you safe. But, you needed to help her and everyone else. You felt their calls, their pain, and knew that is where you needed to be and that was your mission. You weren’t that scared little girl anymore who ran away from trouble.
When you transform, it is like a testament to how far you’ve come and how much you’ve grown. Your senshi, the Sailor Quartet appear at your side and are ready to fight alongside you. It means that you are ready, and you are finally on the path that you’re meant to be to take over being Sailor Moon in your own time.
But, you never expected what you had found in the past. The image of what you saw still burned brightly in your mind, even now, even after your time in this new world you could never forget the sight of the cats all dead before you. But, Sailor Moon was like a beacon when you found her in the enemies territory. Her embrace made everything seem like it could get better, that it would get better because she was still so bright and so strong, so determined to save everyone and make things right.
You are forced to watch idly, this time. You are held back by the mysterious Chibichibi, who was either your daughter or your sister according to the theories of Sailor Moon and the Sailor Quartet. She speaks, for once, and tells you to have faith in Sailor Moon but not to interfere in her battle. Now, you wonder if that was the right choice. If you had stepped in, maybe you could have stopped your fate. Stopped what you saw from happening, because maybe the two of you would have been strong enough to make it through it without this heartbreak. Heartbreak that continued to play through your mind ever time you had gone to sleep for the last year since you arrived. The image of your father being pushed into the cauldron. He ceased to exist.
And so did you.
You faded away with Sailor Moon’s hand extended towards you.
You never expected to open your eyes again, in a strange place that was not familiar. You had thought, briefly, that when you opened your eyes it would have been a terrible dream. You could have ran to your parent’s room and found them sleeping. But this place was not home, it was nowhere close to home. You found yourself wandering the streets, convinced that this was what death was like. Only, death meant you would have been reunited with those you had lost — or you had thought that is what it had meant.
You were found wandering and taken in. Not by a family, but instead, by an orphanage. Which is fitting, because you are technically one. Though you remember thinking that it was because you shouldn’t really exist, and that you, technically had no parents. You settle in among the other children, you find yourself falling into your old self because you can’t — won’t — allow yourself to linger in sadness like you did before. You smile brightly though your heart cries, and act as if you don’t remember anything about your past or where you are from. Because you don’t want to talk about it, because you really wish you could forget the pain and the memories of what you endured.
You’ve had offers for adoption, but you politely turn them down. You don’t remember the excuses, something about being lonely or not wanting to leave your friends even with promises that you could still see them.
The truth is that you don’t want anyone to replace your Mama and Papa.
And so you spend a year in the orphanage, going to school, acting like a regular girl. You’ve had a recent offer for adoption. And after a year, you’ve been considering it.