little fish big pond
you didn't know it then, how could you, you were a mere baby, unable to really see or hear anything yet, you didn't know the arms that held you were that of a nursemaid and not those of your mother's. you only knew that you were warm and for the moment content. sometime later you will start wishing you could have stayed in that blissfully ignorant state, or worse yet that you weren't born at all. that's what happens when you are born to a king and his concubine, a greedy concubine dead set on gaining higher favor with said king, not satisfied enough with just having born his child, or with the child itself. from the moment that you were conceived you were meant to be a pawn, a tool used to help her climb higher up the social ladder by pleasing the king. she made sure you were the perfect little princess, elegant and majestic with great posture and the best of manners, but she also saw to it that you were a perfect little monster in your own right too. children of king garon have dragon blood flowing through their veins, magic wielders, and powerful beings, she wanted you to perfect that art from a very young age.
long hours spent learning how to embroider were followed by long hours in lessons on self defense. you took to the fighting like a bat out of hell though, where as all the girly princess things had never really interested you. you weapon of choice ended up reflecting that perfectly, an ax wielder, it was the last thing your mother wanted for you, but it was like your own personal form of protest for everything she stood for. by that time you knew she cared nothing of you and instead only cared for herself and what you could do for her. the only love she ever showed you was fake, a manipulative ploy to get you to do her bidding for her. despite that though, your big naive heart hoped that if you did everything she asked of you, you might one day get something real, but that didn't mean you didn't have your little bouts of rebelliousness along the way, the ax being one of them. she would have rather you had chosen anything besides the big bulky weapon, well save maybe a broad sword, an archer would have been nice, or a lance even, she told you once, but you stuck to your guns and kept the ax. you didn't understand why it mattered so much anyway, not until later.
if not for the fact that you actually very much enjoyed the fighting it would have been more than a young girl like you could take. in the end it toughened you up in more ways then one. your mother helped a lot with that, she taught you how cruel a place the world can be, what its like to live without a mother's love, and how selfish other's can be even with their own blood. she made you vow to yourself that that would never be like that, that you would make the world a better place, not a worse one, that you would love as much as possible, and take care of those who needed to be cared for. it wasn't long after that that you actually had someone to care for. king garon had other concubines, other children, your half siblings, and their mothers were every bit as manipulative and self centered as your own, save xandar's mother the queen, but then she didn't need to be cruel and ruthless to make her way up in life, she was at the top. you met xandar when you were chosen to go live in the capitol, in the castle with your father. it was a great honor to your mother apparently, not that you cared, she wanted you to stay away from your siblings, to hate them, to crush them, but you had other plans.
back then xandar was more innocent, more open, happier. time changes everyone, but you wish that he had stayed the same. of course being the sole legitimate and eldest heir to the throne, and being trained to be the next king will do that to you. you watched it happen, try as you might have to keep him grounded, to make him smile or laugh, to show him that he was loved for more than just being the heir. he was your older brother, and for someone who had never been loved before to gain an older sibling, siblings in general, you clung to that blood tie, even though you weren't suppose to. you wanted to be a light in his life, to be his rock when necessary, his confidant, someone he could count on to listen and to care. you were closest to his age, but that wasn't why you wanted to be there for him, it was your vow, you could start with him, but in the end you weren't good enough to keep him grounded, to keep him from losing himself, disappearing into the person every one else wanted.
so in the end you tried again. leo was your younger brother, third in line for the throne, second crowned prince of nohr. from the moment you laid eyes on the little boy, the look in his eye, you could tell that he was like you, had suffered at the hands of his own concubine mother. you didn't want him to feel like he meant nothing to any one, not the way you did. so you doted on him with abandon, pinching his cheeks, singing his praise when he showed off how smart he was, clapped for him when he learned a new spell, when he fell asleep over his books you'd wrap a blanket around his shoulders. you did everything you could, not knowing if it would be enough this time either, but trying your hardest to be enough to keep leo's heart warm and open. perhaps you get a little side tracked when elise comes along, she's so tiny and bright, she's like a star, still too young to know how terrible the world can be, and you want to protect her from it with everything you have, she's already so sweet and innocent and you don't want her to change, think maybe if you shield her from certain things she can remain that way.
but that option sort of falls away when corrin shows up. you try not to neglect your other siblings in favor of corrin, but you can't help but to dote on them more so than the others, there is something about them that just calls to you, as if they need you more, it helps that your other siblings dote on corrin as well, visiting them in the nothern fortress with you so that they aren't so alone, until finally your father gives corrin permission to come back to the capital with you all. a ripple effect is started after that that leads to the anomisity that had steadily been brewing between your kingdom and the neighboring hoshidan kingdom turns into a war with corrin right in the middle of it. your family is the only one that corrin has ever known but now the hoshidans are claiming that corrin is in fact their blood and should be with them. it would have broke you heart if your dear sweet corrin had chosen them over you, but they didn't and that made your heart sore. you vowed to protect corrin and battle by their side against the hoshidan armies. everything is a blur of battles and bloodshed after that.
corrin though fierce is also gentle, so much so, that when you slaughter two samurai to save them they look at you with disappointment. it saddens you to know that corrin doesn't approve of your lack of mercy, but anyone who threatens any of your siblings is as good as dead as far as you are concerned. you have no qualms killing for them, but find yourself showing mercy at times at corrin's behest. you spare hinoka, hoshido's princess and second in line for their throne for corrin. you spare her life almost gladly though you like the sight of blood, you can recall the feast her family and yours had in izumo. she has lost both her brothers, and you heart aches at the thought of having lost your own. but even when the whole of the hoshidan army has been defeated corrin tells you all that the war is not over, that king garon isn't king garon, and though you can hardly believe that to be true you trust in your sibling and seek out the king only to find that he is a monstrosity, a puppet who's strings are being pulled by someone else. fighting your father might have been tough, but the thing ins't your father and eventually you and your siblings kill him, only to have what corrin later states is the shell of the late hoshidan prince takumi, another puppet and tired and weary you all are forced to fight for your lives yet again. but your prevail.
the war thankfully comes to a close and with garon gone, xandar takes the throne. you have all your siblings in one piece and perhaps it lulled you into a false sense of security, because next thing you know, you're leaving the coronation and you are no longer in nohr.