I don't know where
this fear comes from,
re you ready?❞ Twirling your tiny fingers, the Great Hall was transformed into an indoor winter playground from your magic alone—all for her. Everything was always for her. You would have described that
night as one of the best moments of your life, how you and Anna skated about the ballroom with wild abandon, after all it was that night that Olaf was created. There would not have been an ounce of regret nor guilt if you
did anything for your dearest sister. Yet little did you know that fate had other plans for you. You had made a fatal mistake, one you would carry with you for many years to come in your young heart.
verything in your mind went entirely blank the moment you saw her little body hit the ground with a thud after your shot had hit her. She was paralyzed, silent, ice-cold. You were petrified yourself, afraid she'd turn to
ice as you gathered her upon your lap. Fearing the worst you frantically hollered for your parents, your stomach dropping to its lowest pits when you heard your father say
❝Elsa, what did you do?❞ as if everyone was waiting for the moment that you'd fail. Like it was bound to happen. That you were meant to harm others no matter what you believed. No matter how hard you tried to use
your powers for good. No matter how much you loved Anna. Did they not trust you?
how I became so afraid
of losing everyone.
t surprised you that your father knew what must be done in the event that you had forsaken your family in hurting someone. Your hands wouldn't stop trembling has you peered into your father's study as he grabbed an ancient
map to find the people that could fix your mistake and save your sister. The whole carriage ride into the deep dark woods, you wanted to fling open the door and lose yourself in the darkness—you wanted to crawl into the furthest
corners of the world and hide. Why did you even exist with these powers if they were mere harbingers of disaster?
nce you and your family arrived in the clearing of rocks, your worst fears were only confirmed by the trolls. Wasn't it already enough that you knew of your curse at this point?
❝Fear will be your enemy,❞ the elder had said, much to your dismay. If you had already thought that accidentally freezing Anna's head was the worst that was going to ever happen, the troll had foreseen that only
more destruction were to come as you grew up. Why did it have to be confirmed by the most knowledgeable of beings? Because then the curse would be
never been afraid of
eing separated from Anna was the hardest thing you've ever had to accept. You knew it was necessary in order to protect her, but it broke your heart every time her small footsteps went past your new room, every time you heard
her voice, every time she knocked on your door. You weren't afraid of being lonely because you had your parents to guide you through it all, but ultimately you felt that they were there to verify if the beast within you
hadn't completely taken over. You did all that you had to, covering your small hands at all times in gloves, endlessly repeating
❝Conceal it, don't feel it. Don't let it show.❞ It was for the best that Anna didn't remember that you had powers. It would was also for the best if you'd never see her again.
r so you thought. Your powers became more and more unpredictable when your parents came to visit you, to the extent that you feared for their lives when they touched you. So they stopped coming. And that...was for the best.
Like everything was. Accustomed you were to being hidden from the world, as is part of your curse, but accustomed you were not to having your parents leave. When they announced that they were to board a ship to visit
a neighboring kingdom, at the back of your mind, you feared the worst—that they'd never come back. But at the same time, maybe it would be best for them to leave, to distance themselves as much as possible from the monster
of a daughter that they have. A daughter that depressed them. A daughter they were cursed with. And what do you know? You were right. It was all your curse's doing. They never came back home. There was no question that
you could attend their funeral either. You locked yourself away, allowing the ice to spread everywhere, not caring if you'd freeze to death in the process.
now I'm becoming the one
I'm most scared of being.
hen you became of age, you knew that the nightmare was going to begin. People. Seeing people, coming into more contact with people. You dreaded that the castle doors were going to be open for the citizens of Arendelle to
come see your coronation. You dreaded the day you'd become queen. Oh how you'd wish you could just stay in isolation forever; you were unfit to be a monarch. No matter how much you'd practice cautiously grasping the senseless
orb and scepter without gloves, your skin would forsake you and freeze all it touched. Yet your coronation day was here, and there was no way around it.
ear was overtaking you in that church as you held the real scepter and orb in your hands, trying your utmost best not to tremble as the ice climbed higher and higher.
❝Your Highness, the gloves,❞ the clergyman had refused to let you keep your gloves and you hated him for it. After what felt like an eternity, you were able to breathe and in the midst of applause you slipped your
gloves back on, hopefully without garnering any unnecessary attention.
ssuming all you had to do after that was sit and look pretty, you were sure that you'd be able to return to the refuge of your room soon enough. That is, until you saw Anna. She was still her awkward, clumsy self, but
the joy on her face that you loved reminded you what it felt like to be in her lovely presence after all these years. You began to worry once she disappeared from your view, only to come back with some dashing pretty-boy
prince that she...wants to marry??
❝Absolutely not, you can't marry someone you've just met,❞ you snapped back, unable to understand her irrationality and absurdity. Little did you know, she grabbed your glove and continued to push and push at
you and—the monster reared its ugly head. You became what you tried so hard to control; you became a monster before all those wide eyes. Especially Anna's. So you will do what you've wanted to do all those years ago—disappear
far away into the woods, never to be found.
it's growing deep into my soul,
making me all paralyzed and cold.
ou're too far gone now, so you might as well let it all out. You were alone for miles, but at least you were free. Free to be whoever, free to do whatever you desired. Because you can't hurt anyone anymore. This
❝Queen Elsa❞ was gone. You'll let this cold permeate your body, your heart, your every being. You'll make this mountainside your home, and you'll stay here forever. Now that everyone knows your deepest, darkest
secret, you'll have nothing to do with Arendelle. And that was the best feeling in the world. Nothing could compare to feeling the open air on your face, dancing and singing without a care in the world. If this was your
cursed fate, so be it.
gainst all odds...she still managed to find you. You could have sworn your heart stopped when you saw her open your ice palace's doors. She wasted no time in easing your heart, but she had a right to know that you'll
never be coming back. Your heart stopped a second time when you saw him, Olaf, and he was alive? Anna persisted, objecting to your self-exile when in fact Arendelle was in
❝deep deep snow❞ because of you. Just when you've thought the worst was over, your curse prevails yet again and this time—you froze over your entire kingdom—and you don't know how to undo it. Your mistakes keep
piling up no matter where you go it seems. In a rage, you shut her out again along with her friends. And if you were able to create life like Olaf, then you'd have to create the most fearsome creature to keep them out...and
I'm gonna take that path,
I'm going in on my own.
onceal, don't feel. Conceal, don't feel. CONCEAL, DON'T FEEL.❞ It was happening again. That gut-wrenching, heart-gripping anxiety and fear that always paralyzed you. You feared that this day would come and it did. You
feared that if Anna could find you, then others will. You were right once again. You watched in terror as Marshmallow fell into the darkness, as guards and soldiers began entering your castle. You ran, desperately conjuring whatever
you could to stop them. But they did not stop. An icicle waiting to draw blood and a wall ready to crush bone, it was only until that prince reminded you that you were currently the epitome of
❝the monster they feared❞ that you relinquished them. Then everything went black.
arkness greeted you as you opened your eyes. The only light came from outside, which was covered in ice, which was all your doing. But why couldn't you move? You were...shackled, imprisoned. Like a feral animal.
❝Why did you bring me here?❞ you asked Hans, your captor, and he replied that he couldn't let them kill you. But you wished that they did, you'd only be a danger here and you couldn't undo the disaster outside. Before
long, your curse of ice was spreading again, freezing over your prison. It allowed you to escape, but at what cost? The storm you had created was capable of swallowing you whole, and it blinded you. Eventually Hans found you,
only with the news that
❝you froze her heart, you killed Anna.❞ You collapsed along with your storm. But then you heard her voice, but it can't be..! When you eyes landed upon her blue, lifeless, frozen body, your world fell apart.
I'm gonna take that fear
and wear it like a crown.
hrowing your arms around her you wept like you've never wept before. Regret, sadness, guilt, despair, emptiness—everything, you let everything out. You've taken away her young life, but at least you couldn't hurt her anymore, at
least you could embrace her one last time. Then...the unimaginable happened, Anna came back to you! And she loves you even after all that you've done. And maybe...you've found the blessing to your curse at long last,
❝love will thaw.❞ So it did; you let your love into the sky and the warm summer returned. Was the end that you had sought all your life, truly here?
eturning to your queenly duties, you ordered the gates to be opened until further notice. Transforming the castle and the courtyard, all were welcome to skate and enjoy that which you've created. It was unbelievable, unfathomable
to be this free. You loved it: you loved that you were free, you loved that you could be with Anna again, you loved that your curse was no more.
ne year later, it was time to make up all of the missed birthdays for Anna. After all, it was a big sister's duty. Using your magic as your newfound blessing, you've gotten her the perfect cake, the perfect presents, the perfect
celebration. Nothing could stop you. Unfortunately, it wasn't even halfway through your perfect plan that you began to worry Anna. You had a...fever of all things. Was that even possible? Did you ruin another
birthday of hers? There was another surprise awaiting the two of you upon returning to the castle: dozens, hundreds of tiny little Snowgies flooded the party area and Kristoff and Sven were scampering about in a frenzy. These
little snowmen were from your sneezes, oddly enough. Fortunately, they were able to pull it off and Anna was so happy. It was her best birthday present ever. It was more than you could ever ask for, and you vow that there will
be more of your love to come.