you're born hannah evans, and everyone wants to think you've had a silver spoon in your mouth ever since you were born. you can see how they would think that; heiress of an large corporation and all with mannerisms of a typical girl who grew up into wealth. you've never had to ask for anything or lift a finger for anything. at least, that's what people think of you anyway at a glance. the reality of it is a little bit different from what the preconceived notions of you are. you spent your childhood lonely with only your nannies and tutors around to give you any kind of company. you're an only child with parents who were much too busy to spend any time with their daughter, and all the years of having them at arm's length left you a little more than wanting. sure, you could have had anything you asked for, and you did in a way. asking your parents to spend time with you, though, was a little bit harder than simply asking for it. everything was schedules and meetings and maybe next time, dear
, and you want to say that sometimes you didn't remember what having your parents around was like.
you really, really wish you could say something like that, but it would imply that you had your parents around enough in the first place to properly miss them. all you had were your tutors and the ladies who took care of you in their place and a home by the sea with a view that helped you cope with the loneliness from time to time. you grew to like that kind of quiet and peace, a comfort for when you felt like you didn't have much else. on one hand, you were a child and couldn't really understand why they left you alone so much, but on the other you can't quite blame them for it the older you grew. it became a little easier over time after you went to university and later had joined the family company, but there was still your childhood to account for. too much missing time that couldn't be made up. you already spend your time being angry about it, and you would take anything that you could get from them rather than nothing at all.
you can tell yourself that all you want and believe it to be the truth, but it doesn't fully heal your broken heart.
your father didn't like luke from the first time he laid eyes on him, including him as your boyfriend. you knew he meant well; you were his daughter no matter what and his only child so wanting to protect you was natural. however, you just couldn't see anything that your father said about luke, like how he didn't deserve you and you were much better than him, could do much better than him. it wasn't this hard back when you were dating jacqueline, but that was different. you're not sure your father ever took you seriously whenever you said you were with a girl from university, probably thinking that you were just being rebellious and not actually doing anything with another girl than bringing her along for a ride that would inevitably end due to a lie. what you had with jack might have started out like that at first, in a very, very small way, and you admit you weren't too fond of her at first, but you were always more patient than you probably should have been. even if your father may have never truly seen jack for who she truly was, a nice girl who may have been a little rough around the edges and abrasive at times, you still wanted her anyway. granted, your time with jacqueline may have been short after all, but you treat everything you care about like a precious jewel, even after it's gone.
but luke, though. luke was unlike any person you'd ever met in your life. he was so kind, so sweet, so smart. you felt so important to him, like you were more than just hannah evans. you were more than just an heiress. you were more than anyone else thought you were. you wanted to be whatever luke thought you were and should be. anything to get him to keep looking at you like you were the most beautiful and wonderful person he'd ever seen in his life. no, your time with jacqueline wasn't quite like this. you honestly couldn't remember if you'd ever felt this special in your entire life. you felt so complete, like you were meant to be by luke's side. sure, it all might have sounded a little silly and cheesy, and you weren't sure if luke would have liked it very much if you said such a thing out loud, but you still felt it with your entire being. luke was just that amazing in your eyes. there was so much you thought and felt about luke that it was hard to put it into words. you just knew that you didn't want to be without him.
which is most likely why you ended up saying yes when he proposed you to. you wanted to be hannah wright and so did he.
seven years of marriage, and you're unsure if you've married the same man you met all those years ago. it was perfect at first, like a dream come true. but the longer you stayed with luke, the more stretched thin you felt, the more lonely you felt as luke started to stay out of the apartment longer and longer. it didn't help that luke wanted you to retire and enjoy married life so you ended up being home alone a lot, sometimes with johannes and sometimes not. johannes was more luke's right hand than yours, even if he was the butler for the two of you. regardless, you could feel the distance between luke and you growing every single day, and it hurt. it hurt so much to think that maybe the two of you weren't the fairy tale dream you used to believe in. between luke working all the time or drinking all the time or, even worse, the fights the two of you would get into, you wanted so badly just to make things work out between the two of you. you weren't the type to give up when things got tough, but you'd be lying if you said you hadn't thought that maybe giving up would be better for the two of you.
still, you had more than one reason to try and patch your marriage up. you still loved luke so much even if the two of you had hit a very large bump in the road of your happiness. that, and you hated the idea of taking away the idea of a family from luke, one that he never really had either. you don't want to tell him yet that you're pregnant, a little scared about it and a little scared about how luke might react. he always would react with such disdain whenever you brought up having kids one day, even if he was the perfect uncle for his little niece. it was like the situation with your father all over again; you saw things in luke that luke himself just didn't see or didn't want to see. you wanted to have a family, and there was no way you were giving that up for anything. you didn't have that kind of thing in you, and you were afraid that luke would end up breaking your heart permanently if he told you to have an abortion. you were pretty sure it was too late for that anyway, but still. the thought of was too much to take.
the apartment the two of you had was too small for you already, but it became that much smaller when you thought of how you would be having two little ones running around as well. moving out and getting a bigger place was always sitting at the back of your mind, with the mutual friends you shared with luke often echoing the idea, though they didn't know the full reason why you were thinking about finding a bigger place. money was obviously not much of an issue; the only problem was finding a place in luxbourne that would suit both of your tastes and have enough room for a future family.
it was that desire that ended with you meeting mary anne and seeing the ermengarde mansion for the first time. the three of you were like a match made in heaven. mary anne was perfect as an interior designer, and you couldn't imagine finding a place better and more beautiful than ermengarde. it was perfect, everything was going just how you wanted it to, and luke was already starting to love the place himself without much prodding from you. with everything going much better than you had ever hoped, you were excited to have a brand new start. a new and beautifully decorated home. a more loving relationship with your husband and future father. two children to look after and love. just the thought of all this made you so much more happy than you were sure you had felt in a long time.
you have no idea what is going on with your guide and realtor for the ermengarde mansion. she looks like she could be a nice girl, albeit perhaps a little too jumpy and young looking for such a job, but it only got weirder and more concerning to you. you had already planned to taking the mansion for yourself long before you'd even come, and with luke liking it and mary anne enthusiastic to work on it, there was no way you were letting someone else have it. it almost felt like your future was riding on this, if you wanted to be that dramatic about the whole thing. if this didn't pan through sure you would be disappointed, but that didn't mean you were going to quit.
still, the poor girl, isabelle, did look like she was about to drop at any moment, which only got worse when you were going through the papers to secure the house as yours. it was the same every time, but you were nothing if not thorough no matter what, even if some people would rather think of you as more of a socialite and probably didn't know anything about this sort of thing. you'd rather spend more time proving them wrong than trying to argue with half-thought out ideas anyway. it seemed like such a waste of time to judge someone based solely on appearance, though you will admit that first impressions meant a lot if you were looking for a good working relationship. mary anne had already proved she was more than capable of the job you were asking of her, but isabelle? you couldn't even say you were having second thoughts about her, because she'd hadn't given you much of any other kind of impression besides the one she had given since the beginning.
the look on her face when you pulled out her artwork - you guess - from the pile of papers was unexpected, though. you had to admit: this wasn't doing much for your impression of her either. it looked like something you'd see on the far alternative side - you've been to enough museums and art galleries to know when a piece was way outside the norm - and if you didn't know any better, you'd think you had picked up some kind of piece meant for a horror movie or something. or a bad chain letter, as luke seemed to think it was. still, while your impression of isabelle wasn't the best and you were kind of put off center by the paper in your hands, you weren't about to be rude about it. an artist was an artist, and you had respect for that always, even if it did take an odd form. you could help but let out a little bit of what you were really thinking, though, if only in your tone. you didn't want to be mean or ugly or anything like that without a good reason, but this was just odd.
you put it out of your mind quickly after isabelle left and you set your sights even harder on the house. there was definitely no way you were going to not buy it now. it was much too perfect for you to let it go.
when hannah wright sets her sights on something, you were sure to get it no matter what. it didn't matter if it was people or pieces of art or houses. when you wanted something, you got it. you were still working on getting luke to stop drinking already because honestly, but you were hoping that would come in time. you definitely didn't want your children to grow up with an alcoholic for a father, and you'd really
put your foot down about it if it got to the point where it was really becoming too much. not that it wasn't already. you were so worried for luke's liver as it was and so was the doctor. you don't know when luke started to not listen as much as he used to. you could probably blame the dry spell you two were having for that. or a myriad of other things, if you wanted to be more accurate.
regardless, the mansion was pretty much in your name now, and between mary anne and you the excitement about working on the house to make it really perfect and a place to raise a family in was so thick not even johannes could cut through it with his best and sharpest butcher knife. you had to be a least a little bit honest with mary anne about a couple things, because you had to have good reasons for wanting a crib in a room you were also saying could be for luke's niece who was definitely not a baby. she was very professional throughout the whole process, and speaking with mary anne was probably one of the most genuine experiences you'd had in a long while, where you could show who you really were for a little bit. you loved working with her, and you were honestly considering whether or not you wanted to have anyone else do anymore interior designing for you for the rest of your life. finding someone like mary anne was once in a lifetime.
finding someone like zachary, though, was something else altogether. you hadn't really planned on being a little. flirty with him. that was the only way to put it, but he was so different from most anyone you knew. an aspiring filmmaker and photographer was not a person you were expecting to meet for a magazine interview. he was such a joy to talk to and he looked very cute when he was embarrassed; you couldn't help but tease him a little bit but you did lay off some when he asked you to. was it bad that you thought he was a sweetie and wouldn't mind spending more time with him? was it bad that you couldn't remember the last time when a man treated you like an actual person and hadn't either try to curry favor with you or make you uncomfortable? zachary felt like a real person in the sea of people you knew who were just. fake was the best way you could think to put it. the worlds you lived in were so different, yet that only made you want to get to know him more. that was dangerous thinking, though.
was it bad that you've had more fun with zachary than you've had with your own husband for a very long time? it was a question you're not sure you want to have the answer to.
admittedly, you didn't quite recognize little becky when you saw her at your house warming party. you knew her parents from when you were still being taught by private tutors - they were such great teachers - and you still talked to them from time to time when you had a minute to spare. however, you hadn't seen becky in years, not since she was still a young girl with big glasses and pigtails. even as a grown woman, though, becky was still just a cute as you remembered, and still just as head over heels for ashton as you could remember. you almost felt sorry for her, having to carry that around for so long without saying anything. if you were in her shoes, you wouldn't have been able to make it for this long. you could be patience, yes, but this was a level beyond patience, something more akin to a state only monks and saints could achieve with years or meditation or something like that. you didn't know anything about that; buddism wass certainly not your religion. the point was you couldn't help but laugh a little a becky's face whilst you talked about ashton, the poor dear. both of them really. he was at the party as well, though you don't remember inviting him, most likely becky's plus one, and he was certainly very handsome. again, you have no idea how becky could keep the facade of friendship up for so long. it was mind boggling!
still, there was something cute about it, and becky's reasoning for it made you think about your own relationship in a way. you'd always kind of viewed your marriage with luke in a certain way, that maybe if you just waited long enough everything would work out in the end, but you might have been wrong. maybe it was better to properly think it through first and not just keep waiting for what might happen. you did want some kind of happy ending. you thought it would be with luke. for so long he was like your prince come to sweep you off your feet and take you away to your fairy tale. was it time for you to stop thinking like that and be more honest? be more in reality? the reality was that your marriage might be on the fast track to failing, and you really didn't want. was buying a house for the two of you a mistake? you'd only meant the best by it, and you didn't expect your problems to just disappear in one night, after all. but the thought of your future children had pushed you forward, maybe when you should have just stayed back and worked on your relationship with luke first. it was all so hard to think about.
you were just in the middle of that thought and catching up with becky when you felt a chill go down your spine, like you were being stared at by eyes that absolutely hated you, eyes that wanted to rip you apart, and you stood frozen in your spot, unable to move and frightened. honestly, it wasn't the first time you'd experienced something strange whilst inside the mansion. if it wasn't someone crying in the cellar at night, it was something else, like feeling like someone was standing by you only for no one to be there at all. they were only brief things, gone as quickly as they came. you'd just passed them all off as nothing, and you did the same thing with this when the feeling finally left.
the rest of the night didn't go much better from there. just when you were thinking about doing something more about your marriage, a friend of yours accused luke of getting her pregnant, and your whole world seemed to stop, just for a second, and then you were angry. angry at your friend, someone you considered to be close to you, would one, come to your house warming party and do something like this, and two, that luke might have actually slept with her at one point. you didn't want to think about it. you really didn't want to think about it, but maybe it was possible? he was out of the house so often, and you had always assumed he was either at work or doing something important. it had to be important for him to stay away from you. was rochelle the only person luke might have slept with? how long had he been cheating on you if he had done this? you lashed out at her, making a scene yourself, before leaving your own party, feeling like you didn't even know your own husband anymore.
you had to have a break from luke. it was the only option you had left. you had to work for your happy ending.
you don't know what happened, but you've felt so weak lately. you're worried for the twins, you don't want them to be hurt by whatever this is, but all your doctor told you was that you were fatigued. you couldn't argue with them there; you felt like you could sleep for days with how you are right now. you're so tired and scared and having this happen right now is not a good time at all. you were supposed to be going back to the apartment, putting some space between luke and you so you could think about things more clearly, without being blinded by the need to please instead of actually looking out for yourself. it was hard to put it out there, hard to confront luke about the possibility of him cheating on you, but you did it and you're proud of that. you still didn't want to leave luke, though. you still loved him so much it hurt in more ways than one, hurt because you loved him and hurt because he might have betrayed you. you were trying to let that part go because you said you would, but saying something and doing something were always two completely different things.
you were in bed, hazing in and out of sleep. luke wasn't going to let you leave the mansion for anything, and it's small things like that which remind you of how you fell for him in the first place. he could be such a sweetie when he really tried. you have no idea when he left your side or how you got back into bed after seeing the doctor, but your dreams have been full of the most awful screams you've ever heard in your life. screams and voices of people you didn't know but they're in so much pain. hearing them made your head pound like a drum, made you cry because it hurt so badly and because you could feel how much they were hurting as well, how much they'd been hurting for years.
you're too tired to resist when someone takes you out of bed. you're too tired to fight back when you feel a hand close around your throat so tightly you can barely breathe. you're too tired to do much other than cry and call out for luke when you see him. it hurts so much, you can't breathe, you can't stop crying, you want to be set free from whoever has a hold of you. you don't even want to look at the woman practically holding you up by the neck, too scared to look at her face more than you already have and more worried about your own life than anything else right now. you were still as scared as she could be when you were finally let go, except the screaming came out of your head and was all around. you honestly had no idea what was even happening or why, and none of you had time for that eitehr if you wanted to make it out alive. at least, the rest of you anyway.
you never really knew ashton very well, or at all rather, but your heart hurts for him because he had just died in front of the people who cared about him, particularly becky. you hate that her happy ending got taken from her like that, and one of these days you want to talk with her about it, because that's not just something you can get over easily. you have a feeling you'll need the same thing later once you and everyone else have gotten out of the mansion. part of you couldn't believe that anything like that was even happening right now, but you can still feel that woman's hand around your throat, choking the life out of you, and you know it was real, even if it sounded like it couldn't be. because there was no way that woman was actually alive. there was no way that anything that happened just now or even before was based in anything other than the supernatural. that explanation made sense, but it also made your head hurt much more than it already it.
your group ended up burning the mansion down in the end, just to be able to get out. none of you ever went back there again.
you are hannah wright, and you're not very sure where to go from here. you're still unsure about your marriage and what you want to do about the children you're going to have to give birth to one way or the other, father around or not. whether or not you'll even be able to call yourself hannah wright anymore is about as up in the air as the birds. what happened in the mansion changed you in a way. you're not sure you'll ever be able to forget all the screams and cries you heard that night, or the feeling of being choked by a dead woman. you don't even think you'll ever know the full story of what happened at the ermengarde mansion, and part of you would rather just put the whole thing behind you and move on with your life, no matter what happens.
you are hannah wright, and you are still alive to do whatever you want to from now on.