Not a Diary
[[TRIGGER WARNING: MENTIONS OF CHILD ABUSE/DOMESTIC VIOLENCE
Kept it as concise as possible but it is an integral part of the character's canon.]]
((Aka: mentions of Endeavor's A+ parenting below.))
Childhood is not a time I look back on fondly. But for the sake of holding onto what remains of my home, I feel as though maybe I should write some things down. This world is. Well, much the same but very different, and every day the memories of my past life fade, and my new life seems more real. There are aspects of it that are freeing. But mostly, I resent being alone.
The early years were...nice. Before my quirk manifested it was pleasant. My father payed little attention to me other than to ask about my quirk. My mother was doting, loving. We were very close, and at first, I was just as close with my siblings. Though it was clear from the beginning none of them quite looked exactly like me. There was a tremendous around of pressure for my quirk to manifest, and even while my mother tried to shield me from it I noticed. I didn't understand quite then, but I noticed.
It was a nightmare when my quirk finally did set in. I mean that literally, but I guess it works figuratively as well. I didn't get nightmares as a kid often, but this one was memorable. Not the dream itself, that was gone as soon as my eyes opened. I woke up half frozen to the bed, and the ends of my sheets were singed. That day things changed.
Training began the very next morning, and to a point I understand it was practical. A child who starts things on fire just by sneezing, well, one can understand how that could be dangerous. But this? This wasn't simply helping your child learn to control his quirk, no this was. I had my first bout of bad frostbite a week into training. I was five. Berated for not keeping my temperature regulated. Of course, my father is in good with someone with a healing quirk. Blackened, un-moving fingers explained away of course, an accident in control. Admittedly, it wasn't the worst explanation. It was easy to do back then. The burns and frozen fingers were as common from training as they were from a sudden startle.
The bruises and sprains weren't as easily explained away, and those I had to nurse until they healed on their own. For all my father's wrath my mother tried to shield me from the brunt of it. Soothe wounds, and cared for me in ways my father doesn't seem capable.
My parents were not a loving couple. They didn't marry for love or even stability. My father used his status and power to coerce my mother's family into a quirk marriage. Something I'm told was common at the time, even if I don't see the results of them. But even for a quirk marriage I don't think my family situation was the norm. I was merely the product of what my father believes to be the perfect blend of quirks. My mother has a strong ice quirk, and well my father's is Hell Flame. A quite powerful fire quirk. And well, I got both. Fourth time's the charm it seems.
It went on for years like that. My mother took the brunt of the abuse dolled out to me, until it broke her. I cannot blame her for everything that happened after that, even if it caused me great pain. Eventually the stress and terror of Endeavor's reign took even my mother's sanity, and kindness. In a fit she deemed my fire half unsightly. Unable to look at or even touch the side of me that reminded her of father. It all boiled over the day she threw a boiling kettle at me. It burned my face worse than I even managed to burn myself with my own quirk, or my father's. My father used it to his advantage, however. Taking the last line of defense against him away from me. Using my burns as reason to send my mother to a hospital. I did not see her again for many years. And the relentless abuse masked as training only worsened.
Still Not a Diary
Despite my father's...well everything, I still wanted to become a hero. My mother always encouraged me to become the man I wanted to be, and while I resent that it's playing almost exactly into what my bastard of a father wants for me, I want to become a pro hero for reasons ultimately different from my father. Endeavor thrives off fame and status. He lords his popularity and his unique ability over others.
There are training programs to become pro heroes pretty much everywhere, but the most prestigious is the one at UA. I got in on recommendation, another benefit of my father's pull and my 'incredible' quirk. To become a pro hero, and expect to get anywhere you have to graduate with good marks out of a program like this. Of course, it's not strictly necessary but...the odds are immediately stacked against you. It takes not only good intentions, but popularity and a flashy quirk to get you anywhere in the business.
Classes were a welcome reprieve from life at home. Simple, and frankly boring at first. It was interesting to get an idea of the kind of people I would be working with in the future, but given my father's training it wasn't a lot of anything I hadn't already gotten enough of. At least until we were attacked by villains on what was meant to be simulation training. I'd like to say I was as shaken as the rest of my class after the event, but, all things considered most of them didn't hold a candle to Endeavor's wrath. And at the time, keeping a cool head was basically all I had going for me.
A real trial didn't begin until the sports festival. My father was there, and it was such a public event. I refused to use my fire in a sort of rebellion against him. I knew nothing would ire him more than denying him everything about me he was so proud of. Of course, this in itself was a form of arrogance. I didn't believe I would need my full power to defeat anyone who opposed me. Midoriya Izuku snapped me out of that. Gave me a chance to take my fire back as my own. At first it was simple rage that I directed at my classmate. How dare he stick his nose into matters that didn't know anything about. I don't know what it was about him, but it pushed me to speak about my past, about everything. Things I had never said out loud to another soul, and there they were laid out before me. I was still bitter about having to use my fire, about having to give my father exactly what he wanted but it was a necessary step. Though I still resisted using it. Until my one on one battle with Midoriya. He was a fool for goading me into using my fire, since it ultimately led to his loss, but I am still thankful for his meddling.
It still didn't resolve everything. Ultimately my past trauma lost me the battle against Bakugo. But after that, I finally gained the courage to visit my mother. And that....has helped. It was hard to admit my mother's rejection of my fire half contributed to my own rejection of it. She seems...better now than she had been, but it's clear she is still haunted by the past. For this I cannot blame her, I just wish to bring some semblance of resolution for us both.
Choosing a hero agency to intern with was grudgingly simple. My father's agency made an offer, and I would be a fool to turn down one of the best agencies in the business. A fool to deny that my father is the second highest ranking pro hero on the field. All Might being the top hero. This sort of training, of course, was much more merciful than the training within our home. It paid to be under the gaze of the public. Though I did not revel in having to spend even more time with the man.
The text from Midoriya came later, and while it had no context, merely a location, I knew he was too serious about becoming a hero for it to be anything other than out of necessary. Trusting him turned out to be beneficial. Being able to help against the hero killer was exactly the sort of thing that cemented the reason I endured everything Endeavor had to throw at me. I came to respect Midoriya a great deal, and I do hope he becomes a pro hero as well. Having someone like him on the field would be...good. For everyone's sake. Not that I think his unbridled determination will ever settle for anything less.
After fighting the Hero Killer, final exams felt like a breeze. Of course, the practical examination was nothing to scoff at. I owe Yaoyorozu a great deal for coming up with the plan that was ultimately successful. A lesson in arrogance, is what it turned up to be. Not that I thought little of my partner, but social cues, are admittedly not my strong suit. Unfortunately teaming up with others, as well as charming the public are also parts of becoming a pro hero. It would be foolish to ignore those aspects as well.
A New Chapter
We were all set to go on some class trip. The other students were excited for it, and I was merely relieved to have some time apart from my father. Instead I find myself here. In some strange new world, where I am told there is no way to return. It seems like a devastating blow after having gotten so far. Finally connecting with my mother again.
Even sort of gaining...friends, if not that then allies. If nothing else they are people I know I could have relied on in battle. It's a like a kick to the ribs, or flames pressed close to an already throbbing burn to suddenly be more alone than I have ever been before. Always I was kept isolated from my family, my siblings, and outsiders. But I still grudgingly relied on my father for survival, even when it came at a cost.
It was easier than I imagined to become integrated to this world, though I imagine it's due to the fact that they are well accustomed to strangers finding themselves here. Though I am unable to ignore the biting loneliness.